Title: Don't Turn Around
Author: Brixxx
Rating:pg
Warnings: angst
Word Count: 851
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and the subsequent rights attatched to the books/films are the property of JKRowling, Scholastic, and WB etc; I only created the plot in this story.
Summary: An ending. Maybe a beginning.
Beta: captainlogic

This wouldn't leave me alone!




A/N: Set after the war.


Harry’s breath misted the glass in front of him as he stared blankly out of the window he was braced against; terrified that if he moved, he would shatter into a million pieces. The only thing that broke the silence was the soft movements of Draco going through drawers behind him and packing the small travel bag. Eventually the blond stopped to watch Harry.

“Can I call someone? Ginny maybe?” he asked softly. Green eyes blinked causing salty tears to slide over pale cheeks as he shook his head silently, hiding his grief from the blond by refusing to look at him. If he did he didn’t think he could bear to see what would be written in his lover’s eyes. ‘Ex-lover’ his mind all too readily corrected.

“You need somebody…” Draco started before he was cut off by a dark chuckle. Draco sighed and wrapped his hands around the handle of the bag trying to focus on anything other than the broken man by the window.

“It’s not easy for me either,” he continued, voice cracking; the only break in the calm shell he had preserved all evening.
“I... I love you Harry… but I just can’t…” he said trying to find the words to explain. He pulled a shaking hand through his hair; a nervous habit that he had never managed to break.

Harry bit his lip as he heard the words of love that sounded so hollow to his ears, “But not enough to stay,” he whispered as he watched his breath turn into mist on the window; the small action proving to him that this was real and not a nightmare. Draco’s head jerked up sharply at his quiet words; the first he had spoken all evening. “I don’t know what to do, Harry. I… I want to make things better and Merlin knows I’ve tried, but…” he said his voice pleading.

They stood in silence for a moment before Draco cracked. “Harry please!” he said, voice raised; desperate for a reaction, any reaction from the brunet, “Please say something!” Harry’s shoulders tensed but he turned around. The blond was devastated by the raw pain he saw in the green eyes. He moved forwards a pace, his hand outstretched before he realised what he was doing. He lowered it and looked to the floor; if he went to his lover now he didn’t think he could ever leave.

“What is there to say?” Harry asked quietly, his voice rough with unshed tears. “You’re leaving me.”

Draco closed his eyes and swallowed heavily, “I don’t want to, but I can’t…I can’t do this anymore. You’ve given me no choice.”

Harry jerked as though he had been slapped, “How can you say that? You’re leaving me.”

“Because you won’t let me in! It’s been three years Harry!” Draco shouted at him in frustration.

Harry’s face grew stony. “Don’t you dare bring that up; I can’t and won’t forget about it, about them,” he said coldly.

“I’m not asking you to,” the blonde sighed, “but you’re barely more alive than those we buried, and I can’t live my life like this anymore,” he said, eyes begging Harry to listen.

He strode towards the brunet and cupped his face, willing him to understand, “I love you Harry Potter, but Hermione, Ron, the Order, they’re dead, and we’re alive. Don’t you get it? It’s over.”

Draco stared into the green eyes he loved so much desperately searching for understanding in their beautiful depths and nearly cried when he found none. Dropping his hands, he took a step back and ran a hand through his hair, looking away.

“But you don’t, and until you do, I can’t do this.” He reached over to his bag and put it on his shoulder before heading to the door.

“Please don’t leave me,” Harry whispered desperately, the first time he had attempted to make him stay. Draco paused with his hand on the door handle, his heart breaking, and glanced around.

“Please come back to me, love,” he whispered to the brunet before he walked out of the door.

***

The noise of the door clicking shut echoed through the room. Harry stood in silence for a moment before it hit him; his love had left him. He had nothing. His body started to shake, and a sob tore from his throat and his legs gave way. Falling to the floor he felt the tears come and his body was wracked with loud sobs. He cried for those he had lost: those who died in the war, Draco, but most off all he cried for himself.

***
Draco heard the cries as he walked down the stairs from their bedroom and paused, wanting desperately to go back to him and beg to be taken back, but he knew he had to be strong for Harry’s sake; Harry had to overcome his demons by himself. The blond just hoped that his love would forgive him eventually. “Don’t turn around,” he whispered to himself. “Don’t turn around.”

Draco’s own tears fell as he walked away without looking back.